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Smiling Woman

Story #10

- the one who loves being a mother, but never lets it define her completely.

Mom K

Based in Hongkong

*This story is based on a recorded conversation. It has been lightly edited for clarity and flow, with direct quotes preserved to reflect the speaker’s voice.

My Story

Q 1 :  What was your life like before becoming a mother?

Before becoming a mother, I dreamed of writing meaningful plays and producing popular entertainment programs that could connect with a wide audience. At the time, I envisioned a creative life — one that balanced artistic expression with real-world impact.


My impression of motherhood back then was shaped largely by traditional media, family expectations, and cultural norms. I saw mothers as selfless and caring, strong and resilient — women who put their children first no matter what.


There was a quiet nobility in that role, but I also sensed a heaviness — an assumption that once you become a mother, your identity naturally shifts to being entirely about others. I admired that strength, but I wasn't sure where my own dreams would fit into that picture.

Q 2 : How has becoming a mother changed your mindset, priorities, or daily life?

Becoming a mother has definitely shifted the way I prioritize things in daily life.


To be frank, in the early years of motherhood, my child always came first. Every decision revolved around his needs, and much of my personal time was put aside. But as he has grown older and become more independent, I’ve gradually started reclaiming more space for myself.


Now, I place myself first, then my husband, and my son comes third — not because I love him any less, but because I believe in respecting everyone’s individuality.


Interestingly, my core mindset hasn’t really changed over the years. I’ve always believed in treating each person — including my son — as a unique and independent individual.


So when I became a mother, I applied the same principle: to love him deeply, but also to give him space to grow as his own person.

Q 3 : Has becoming a mother affected your career development or professional goals?

Yes, becoming a mother completely changed the direction of my career.


I made the decision to quit my job as a television producer when I was pregnant, stepping away from a fast-paced and demanding industry.


After giving birth, I chose to become self-employed — a path I’ve continued on ever since.


Motherhood didn’t just pause my career; it reshaped it. I began seeking more flexibility and autonomy in my work, both to better support my family life and to rediscover what meaningful work looked like for me personally.


Looking back, it was a bold but necessary shift — one that allowed me to grow in areas I hadn’t anticipated before becoming a mom.

Q 5: How does your parenting approach differ from how your parents raised you?

My parenting style is largely influenced by how I was raised — I’ve inherited many aspects of my parents’ approach.


They valued responsibility, discipline, and education, and I carry those same values into my parenting today.
However, one key area where I’ve taken a different path is in sex education.


In traditional Chinese culture, sex is often treated as a taboo subject, and my parents were no exception — they rarely, if ever, talked to me about it growing up.


As a mother, I make a conscious effort to be more open-minded and communicative in this area. I believe that honest, age-appropriate conversations about bodies, relationships, and consent are essential for a child’s healthy development.

Q 6:  What would you like to say to women who may become mothers in the future?

Becoming a mom is fantastic! 

Your Voice Matters

What part of this story resonates with you?

 

Would you like to share your own voice—or someone else’s?

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Let’s keep building this archive of mother-identities together.

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-Emily Shao

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