Story #5
- the one who dreamed of being a free-spirited traveler and writer
Mom L
Based in Hangzhou, China
*This story is based on a recorded conversation. It has been lightly edited for clarity and flow, with direct quotes preserved to reflect the speaker’s voice.
My Story
Q 1 : Before becoming a mother, what dreams and goals did you have? What was your impression of motherhood?
When I was younger, I read books by Sanmao and Xi Murong and dreamed of being a free-spirited traveler and writer. I was quite easygoing. I never seriously thought about becoming a mother — it just felt like something that would naturally happen at a certain age.
(Sanmao and Xi Murong are popular Chinese female writers known for their romanticism, travel writing, and reflections on identity.)
Q 2 : After becoming a mother, how did your mindset or life priorities change?
My mindset didn’t really change, but in real life, my freedom definitely decreased. When the kids got sick, I would feel very anxious and overwhelmed, but I also became stronger. I was overly anxious with my first child, but with the second, I was much more relaxed.
Q 3 : How has becoming a mother affected your career development?
Maybe I'm an exception, but becoming a mother didn’t affect my job or financial independence. However, it probably did affect my chances of promotion — I just didn’t have as much energy to dedicate to work.
Q 4 : In your community, what expectations are there around being a mom? Did your interactions with others change after becoming a mother?
Around me, moms are generally like superheroes — not only pushing themselves, but also pushing their kids. Since most people in my circle are also parents, having kids gives us common topics, but we don’t really discuss deeper issues.
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(The phrase “pushing their kids” here refers to a common social trend in parts of China, where parents are highly involved in and put pressure on their children's academic and extracurricular success — often called "competitive parenting" or "intensive parenting.")
Q 5: Do you have any advice for women who want to become mothers in the future?
Make sure you have a solid financial foundation before becoming a mom, and definitely keep working — that’s essential for maintaining personal independence. Don’t tie your whole life to your child — everyone is an individual.
Your Voice Matters
What part of this story resonates with you?
Would you like to share your own voice—or someone else’s?
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Let’s keep building this archive of mother-identities together.
Submit Your Story
at the bottom of "story 1"
-Emily Shao
