Story #2
- the one who mastered the balancing act
Dr. Greco
Art Teacher, California
*This story is based on a recorded conversation. It has been lightly edited for clarity and flow, with direct quotes preserved to reflect the speaker’s voice.
My Story
Q1: What do you remember about the early days before and after your child’s birth?
“I remember how disciplined I had to be when I was cooking everything and taking my temperature daily. It wasn’t easy, but I was determined,” Dr. Greco recalls.
The first days after her son’s birth left a vivid mark.
“When my baby was born, it was such a special moment. I remember the first day vividly—he was eating, but then he started showing signs of jaundice. I was yelled at for not pumping right away, and I had to give him formula. It wasn’t what I had envisioned, but I adapted.”
Determined to stick with her original plan, she persisted through the challenges.
“I was so determined to breastfeed him, and I stuck with it for a year. During that time, he hardly had any bottles.”
Behind her steady voice, you can feel the intensity of those first struggles—the effort to stay true to her hopes while adjusting to an unpredictable reality.
Q2: What was life like after moving to California?
“When he was a month old, we moved to California and lived on a boat,” Dr. Greco says, smiling at the memory. “It was a challenging but transformative time.”
Life aboard was far from glamorous.
“We slept on a couch, and life felt raw and unpredictable. We weren’t working then, so we spent six precious months together with our baby, taking walks every day.”
Despite the instability, she remembers those months with deep fondness.
“It was a beautiful yet humbling period as our savings dwindled away. Eventually, we found good jobs, but I’m grateful we had that time. It was just the three of us, every day.”
Q 3 : Did you ever have to choose between career opportunities and family?
“When I was pregnant, I was offered a job teaching at a university in Japan,” Dr. Greco shares.
“It was a huge opportunity—the only university-level position either my husband or I had been offered at the time.”
But the decision was clear for her.
“I knew I wanted to stay with my kids. I didn’t want to miss out on those early years.”
Choosing to turn it down wasn’t easy, but she stands by it firmly.
“I had achieved a lot of what I wanted professionally before becoming a mom. That was my plan—to finish certain things first, so when the time came, I could be there fully.”
She reflects with quiet certainty:
“I knew if I took that job, I would always be jealous of my husband getting to stay home with our child. And I didn’t want to feel that.”
Q 4 : How did your professional background shape your motherhood journey?
“Before I became a mother, I had worked for major museums in New York City and prestigious art education programs,” Dr. Greco says.
“I had a very strong philosophy about art education. A lot of art teachers are really just artists who happen to teach. I was different—I had advanced degrees and deep training.”
Because of her background, she had a sense of certainty when it came to her future.
“I knew I could get a job wherever I went. That gave me a lot of confidence.”
When they finally settled in California, she didn’t just focus inward—she built something for others too.
“I started a co-op to connect with other parents. I organized a calendar of activities I wanted to do with my son and invited others to join.”
The community she created was vibrant and diverse.
“One mom loved biology and would take us on hikes and trails. Her husband ran a botanical research center, so we got to spend time there. Another mom planned homeschool-style activities in her backyard.”
Together, they built a mini nursery school, exchanging skills and nurturing each other’s children.
“It was a really beautiful network. And it kept me grounded in my professional instincts—to create meaningful experiences for young people.”
Q 5 : What was it like balancing motherhood and returning to work?
“Eventually, I applied for an art teacher position at a local school,” Dr. Greco recalls.
“But I made it very clear—I would only work part-time.”
She was determined not to lose precious time with her son.
“I didn’t want my child in daycare all day. I would pick him up at lunch, every day. I didn’t want him to be there until late.”
However, the financial reality wasn’t easy to navigate.
“The cost of babysitters didn’t always match my hourly pay,” she admits. “There were times when it just didn’t add up.”
The emotional toll became heavy.
“There was a moment—I remember crying in the office,” she says quietly. “It was just too much sometimes—trying to balance working, parenting, and feeling like I was failing at both.”
Thankfully, her workplace showed understanding.
“They were very supportive,” she nods. “Over time, as my kids grew older, I slowly took on more responsibilities.”
It was never about ambition alone—it was about trying to honor both parts of herself: the educator and the mother.
Q 6: How did your living situation shape your experience raising your children?
“Living on campus made life so much more manageable,” Dr. Greco shares.
“Instead of hiring expensive babysitters from outside, I could rely on students for help.”
The arrangement wasn’t without its quirks.
“The students weren’t professional babysitters—they weren’t as skilled as the moms from my co-op,” she laughs. “But they loved my children. And that positivity made a real difference.”
Being surrounded by young, open-minded people had a lasting impact—not just on her kids, but on her parenting philosophy.
“Seeing the students be so accepting, so full of energy, really influenced how I raised my children. I wanted them to grow up believing they could be whoever they wanted to be.”
It wasn’t the perfect system, but it was filled with something even more important: care, energy, and acceptance.
Q 7：How has motherhood shaped your views on relationships and partnership?
Over time, Dr. Greco’s understanding of relationships evolved.
“A healthy partnership isn’t about being everything for someone else,” she says thoughtfully. “It’s about supporting each other while also taking care of yourself.”
She realized that compromise doesn’t have to mean self-erasure.
“Compromise doesn’t mean losing yourself. It means allowing others to be who they are, while standing firm in your own identity.”
Motherhood, in many ways, deepened her belief that true connection isn’t built on dependency—it’s built on two individuals, each whole on their own, choosing to walk together.
“You can love deeply, and still maintain your own dreams, your own inner life. And that’s not selfish—it’s necessary.”
Q 8：Have you noticed any shifts in how the younger generation sees identity and belonging?
“I remember after COVID, we had this large outdoor gathering,” Dr. Greco recalls.
“And the students were just… so open. They introduced themselves by sharing their pronouns and sexual orientations—without hesitation, without fear.”
She pauses, reflecting on the moment.
“It was eye-opening. Their openness made me realize how much the world had changed—and how much I could change too.”
Seeing the next generation embrace their full identities gave her new permission to question old assumptions.
“It even made me reflect on my own life,” she says. “That I don’t have to conform to anyone’s expectations—of what a wife should be, what a mother should be, or even what a professional should look like.”
In raising her children, she hopes to pass on that same spirit:
“I want them to grow up seeing all the possibilities, and knowing they can be whoever they want to be.”
Q 9：Looking back, what do you feel most grateful for in your journey?
“I’m grateful for the life I’ve built, the children I’ve raised, and the community I’m a part of,” Dr. Greco says with quiet pride.
Living and working in an environment filled with diversity and openness has shaped not just her children, but herself.
“Being in a place where my kids can see so many different perspectives—that’s been invaluable.”
She smiles, reflecting on the unexpected beauty woven through the struggles.
“Life isn’t about having a perfect plan. It’s about growth, understanding, and finding joy in unexpected moments.”
Motherhood didn’t end her dreams—it reframed them, expanded them, made them deeper.
“I’m still growing. I’m still becoming. And that, to me, is the real journey.”
Gratitude, Growth, and Unexpected Joys: “Motherhood Was a New Beginning, Not an Ending.”
Your Voice Matters
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-Emily Shao
